Funny If True. Actual Exchanges Between Pilots And Air Traffic Control

There’s a core group of United Airlines frequent fliers I know who crave Channel 9, the live broadcast of air traffic control they offer on some of their planes.  While I listen from time-to-time, I don’t consider myself an avid fan.  I’ve got aviation geek blood but maybe not as bad as some others.

I’ve never heard an instance where a pilot or air traffic controller were anything but professional, but I have to figure those moments exist.  Thanks to Justin for sending along this tidbit.  It appears to be transcripts of actual conversations between pilots and air traffic controllers.  And, they’re funny.  It’s a bit older and references some airlines that aren’t around any longer, but it gave me a good chuckle:

Tower: “TWA 2341, for noise reduction turn right 45 Degrees.”
TWA 2341: “Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?”
Tower: “Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?”


From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: “I’m f-ing bored I”
Ground Traffic Control: “Last aircraft transmitting,identify yourself immediately!”
Unknown aircraft: “I said I was f-ing bored, not f-ing stupid!”

The post Funny If True.  Actual Exchanges Between Pilots And Air Traffic Control was published first on Pizza in Motion.


  1. The procedure at ORD, when ready to taxi and when departures are busy, is to call Metering with your location. Metering will assign you a runway and an exit point from the terminal, and then tell you to “Monitor Ground .75”. You work your way to the exit point, and then hold there and wait for Ground to call you – you do not call them.

    American 123: “American 123 is ready”
    ORD Ground: “Everybody, hold your position. AMERICAN is ready!”

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